I Love You Twice As Much

I used to hear people say that they didn't mind their spouse gaining weight because "there's just more to love." This comic shows the other side of the issue.

So which way is it really?

Well, to me it's a bit of both. I don't look at a well-earned pair of 'love handles' and think "EWWWWWWWWWWWWW". Unless, of course, someone looks at a little cellulite and suggests that I might want to hit the Stairmaster more often. Then I might secretly think it... though I still probably wouldn't say it. But generally I don't think that way. I am the type to see the person inside more than a few outside flaws.

But regardless... this comic strip highlights a pet peeve of mine. It seems like so many people want to look great while dating, to attract a spouse. They want to lose that extra weight to look good for their wedding. But afterward? Many just let themselves go. It's like they think they caught the person now, so they don't have to work at it any more.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say something pretty controversial:

If someone doesn't care enough about themselves or their spouse to want to continue to look good, they don't have any right to be surprised if the spouse looks around.

I'm not saying people should have affairs if their spouse gains weight. But I am saying that it is YOUR responsibility to do your best to continue to attract your spouse. Every day. Yes, both of you. I'm not just talking to the women here. You men gain weight too. And we're not the only ones who walk around in stained t-shirts and ratty sweats.

After I had kids and began working from home part-time, it was easy to have a lot of ponytail and sweats days. The stretch pants fit better than the jeans... yes I admit that my hips spread after having several huge babies. I often didn't get time away from a whiny kid to take a shower until at least naptime... and by then I needed a nap too. So hubby would come home from work to find me in sweats and a tshirt with pillow hair in a ponytail. Nice, huh?

It's easy to let yourself go. But you don't have to. And why would you want to?

Today at lunch, some college friends of mine were sitting at the next table in the restaurant. She and I are about a week apart in age, yet a few years ago she complained to me how strangers commented to her about her grandchildren while the family was out together. I didn't know what to say, because she and her husband DO look old enough to be their children's grandparents.

And why? Mostly because they don't take time for themselves. Their lives are focused around their 4 children... homeschooling a few of them... juggling dozens of activities...

It's not selfish to take time for yourself. It's a necessity.

I'm talking about getting up in the morning and putting on sexy jeans and doing my hair & makeup, even if it's my day off work and no one is going to see me, then looking in the mirror and thinking, "Damn I look pretty good today."

Yes I might be the same person as I am wearing sweats and a ratty t-shirt. But unless they make me feel that same way about myself, I prefer to forego them as often as possible. When I know I look good, I feel better about myself. And I project a different face to the rest of the world too. I like that face a lot. And if I like it, my husband is going to like it too.

I don't want to be the lady in the cartoon.

PS: Woohoo Steelers!!!