I was a SAHM. Kind of. But not really. I guess that makes it ok then, right? Cause we all know that SAHM is a bad word.
See, back in the early 90's when my first son was born, I dropped down to half-time work so I could spend more time with him.
And 1 1/2 years later, when I got pregnant with #2? Since I had just, finally, paid off my brain and we could almost afford it, I told my company goodbye. Of course, then I offered to still work for them. Just more on my terms.
I guess when you've kind of made yourself indispensable at work, you can get away with that.
So there's your tip for the day. If you wanna know if you are indispensable at work, just quit and see if they'll let you start working part time and doing it from home (or whatever other ridiculous terms you come up with, because trust me, back then, working from home was not commonplace like it is now.) Or maybe you just need to ask right after about 3 of their longest-term employees have left, meaning you are the one remaining long-termer who actually knows their work.
That works too.
But the end result was me, at home, with a newborn and a 2 year old, trying tofind time to get out of my pajamas accomplish something between naps and diaper changes. On days that managing to get a shower would have been an accomplishment, I was supposed to actually work.
Sure I did take them to the park some days. Sometimes I even got us all cleaned and dressed in time that we could make it to the weekly play day at McDonald's. But I felt like I was shortchanging everything and everyone.
We hired college kids... relatives... neighbors... (anyone we could find, actually) to come to the house and babysit part-time so I couldget my daily shower get some work time in. We had them put away dishes, fold laundry, or do other random tasks of lesser importance that would otherwise not get done among the craziness of daily life.
And I wondered, often, why I had wanted this so badly. Because life before kids used to be much more sane.
See, back in the early 90's when my first son was born, I dropped down to half-time work so I could spend more time with him.
And 1 1/2 years later, when I got pregnant with #2? Since I had just, finally, paid off my brain and we could almost afford it, I told my company goodbye. Of course, then I offered to still work for them. Just more on my terms.
I guess when you've kind of made yourself indispensable at work, you can get away with that.
So there's your tip for the day. If you wanna know if you are indispensable at work, just quit and see if they'll let you start working part time and doing it from home (or whatever other ridiculous terms you come up with, because trust me, back then, working from home was not commonplace like it is now.) Or maybe you just need to ask right after about 3 of their longest-term employees have left, meaning you are the one remaining long-termer who actually knows their work.
That works too.
But the end result was me, at home, with a newborn and a 2 year old, trying to
Sure I did take them to the park some days. Sometimes I even got us all cleaned and dressed in time that we could make it to the weekly play day at McDonald's. But I felt like I was shortchanging everything and everyone.
We hired college kids... relatives... neighbors... (anyone we could find, actually) to come to the house and babysit part-time so I could
And I wondered, often, why I had wanted this so badly. Because life before kids used to be much more sane.
6 comments:
I was a SAHD guy too
the pajamas and shower thing are so completely true
of course working from home with kids and just focusing on housework and child-rearing like the Cleaver clan are two different things
i hesitate to ask - was your spouse understanding? or was there an expectation that you should have had a June Cleaver house since you were "at home all day"?
(yes - there is personal history in my question)
Cad, he sort of understood. But he'd come home sometimes to find me in sweats with greasy hair and ask "you haven't showered yet?" like I must have been goofing off the whole day. He really has no clue what I do all day now. I'm still expected to have a plan for supper, have his jeans clean when he needs them even if he didn't tell me he was running short on clothes, and God help us if I forget to pay a bill on schedule... then I get the "we need to get more organized" speech.
Who the hell has TIME to get organized?
Oy vey.
I seem to go back and forth between wanting to be a SAHM and being full-time super woman.
I guess I MIGHT be able to do something from home once Buddha's in school - not before though! He's a wild child. I'd get NOTHING done. I'm certain of that!
Buddha Girl, I firmly believe you'd get something done no matter what. You're like a fucking wonder woman. I'm a lazy-ass. I admit it.
This is what I've done for eight years. I did just what you did, took a deep breath and quit my job and luckily they did what they had to do to keep me. It worked out very well for a long time. I'm still at home, "working". But the kid thing? So much harder than anything I ever did at the office. Not a question of apples to oranges, just a question of divided attention. Now I do everything half assed instead of full on. It's a good feeling.
Maggie, I felt it was a good feeling at first... but after a while I got to feeling pretty overwhelmed. And I realized that while I loved MY kids, I didn't much like kids in general.
It's way better now that they're teens. Some people dread this age, but I love it.
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