Why I don't have a dog

My daughter wants a dog. Really, really badly. I keep putting her off. I have never liked dogs much, even though we always had one while growing up.

However, I love cats. We always had cats, and in all of my early photos I was always surrounded by them.

We had pigs which I avoided except when falling on them from the barn stairs or trying to chase them back into the pen when they got out.

We had steers which I ignored mostly, unless they stepped on my favorite cat, breaking its neck. Then I cursed at them (silently of course... I'd have gotten in trouble otherwise). Well I didn't totally ignore the steers... they were good for supper at least.

We had rabbits, which made a good Sunday dinner. Often. Because they were very good at doing what rabbits do best.

We had a horse that I pretty much ignored too, unless my sister (the family horse fanatic) saddled it. I didn't mind the horse when we were behind it in the cart, but falling off of a horse wasn't much more fun than falling on a pig.

We had a pet lamb too, named George. I avoided him too, because once he became a teenager (in lamb years) he was a really mean sucker and loved to butt me down. Usually on the driveway. Or anywhere else he could get at me.

Clearly I'm not a huge animal lover. I have no clue where my daughter got it, because it certainly wasn't from me. I mostly tolerate her guinea pig and her pet tortoises. I avoid the two pet snakes if at all possible.

So back to dogs. I have always been a little afraid of dogs. I even got bit by a neighbor's dog once, in the back of the leg. They knew I was coming over, and as I walked up to their house the dog began growling and no people were visible. So I quickly tried to return to my bike to go home. The dog, seeing my ass retreating, snuck up behind me and bit me in the back of the leg.

Dogs are like that. They may even be nice to your face, but if they smell fear they'll bite you in the ass. And apparently I stink with dog-fear. It flows from my pores like sweat on the 4th of July.

So I avoid dogs whenever possible. Which seems a prudent thing to do, because sometimes dogs will go after you even if they don't smell fear.

Like last night when my husband went jogging. He moved to the opposite side of the road as he ran past a house. Not due to fear, but because he knows that some dogs just don't like people too close to their property. A dog ran up to the road and followed along at the edge of the property until he made it past the property. Once he left the dog at the corner of their property and ran on, no longer watching it, the dog crossed the road, ran up behind him, and bit him in the ass.

He doesn't mind that I like his ass, but he wasn't too thrilled at this dog.

He got two inch-long cuts, one which required 3 stitches. So we spent a couple of hours visiting the nice people in the emergency room.

Did I mention that I don't like dogs?

I hear that the couple who had this dog runs a rescue facility. They take in stray dogs and then place them into new homes. The wonderful little creature that so loved my husband's ass is apparently almost ready for placement in a new home. Once the 14 day quarantine period is past of course. If I were the new owners, I think I'd back out.

My daughter would probably take the dog if we let her.