Ok, so the ASD came home to help, and even though he once again didn't get his powerwashing done, he WAS rather helpful. And the house did look much better by having several more hours to clean. We had time to wash the curtains and rehang them, wash the chandelier globes and rehang SOME of them, sweep and wipe down the floors, wash down and dust most of the woodwork in the living room, and carry out all of the boxes that were still in the house.
But... when he got home he grumped about how he didn't know why I was so mad. Because he bought me several extra hours.
I told him it was because 1) I had already planned my schedule around the previous schedule, 2) I told him 3 times yesterday not to change it, and 3) he did it without asking me and just announced it after the fact.
I don't think he understood. All he could see was that it bought me more time.
10 comments:
And there, I think, is the quentessential difference between men and women.
Men are bottom line creatures, all they see is the outcom. (Yes I realize this is a gross generalization, but let's just run with it), and women tend to view the whole picture, the bottom line being only a small part of the whole.
Just spit balling here.
Okay, I know that I also fall under the DUMB ASS HUSBAND category, but I do realize that my wife does most of the work around the house. I too have been in the situation were I only wanted to ease her stress and ended up creating more anxiety for her in the process. Responding as a man, I am glad to see you gave your DUMB ASS HUSBAND credit being "rather helpful" and I do hope that your showing went well.
Lara - stop it. Seriously.
This was intended, by your husband, to show you affection. His intention was to help you in a very concrete way - because that is what men do. And it is sweet. It really is.
Do you have ANY idea how many women would give their left arm to have someone willing to help with housework??!! I don't think you understand... his intentions were good. He DID good.
Try to accept things in the spirit in which they were intended and don't be so rigid. You don't have anything you could have done with a few extra hours?? Nothing at all? A bike ride even? A walk? A trip to the book store or the library?
Chanda, yeah men (at least this one) definitely look at the outcome. You've got that right!
Marty, sometimes he is annoying in his attitude toward things, but the fact that he does them is nice.
Daisy, sorry but you do not know this man. I'm glad that he helps.. I really am. And I help him with his stuff too. I think that is important, as well as only fair. But he really does NOT listen to me, or anyone else for that matter. And there-in lies the problem. He is a one-man show, and we are all supposed to drop everything and jump to his whims but he doesn't offer the same courtesy to the rest of us - what he wants ALWAYS takes priority. And he didn't buy me *free* time... he just got things done his way. I still had to keep working AFTER the realtor came too. He just didn't want the realtor to see it messy at all (it wasn't a showing, just an appraisal, but he felt that it needed to be near perfect for that too.)
"ASD"...
I kind of like that. Respectful, and the abbreviation keeps it from being too "showy". I'll have to propose Mrs DSF give it ...
Oh dear, my sarcasometer is out of whack, isn't it. Sorry for the confusion.
I think there's something in the air - I was schooled in kitchen cleanliness last night by the man who thinks he runs this place. Yeah, I'm thinking he's going to have a coup on his hands if he doesn't pipe down.
Hold your ground girl!
You know - at some point he won't bother anymore.
Who is the one-man-show here? You are upset because he changed the schedule. Your schedule. You perceive this as him trying to what - get his way? Nothing more?
Does a good assessment of the home not benefit you as well? You know that he is right. You know that overall appearance and neatness counts in an appraisal. Higher perceived value. But that doesn't matter? All that matters is that you didn't get to do it your way - he got to do it his way. Isn't the end result what really matters here? Sometimes the bottom line IS what matters. Perhaps, this was one of those times.
You're right. I don't know him. I am just playing devil's advocate here - sometimes it helps to look at things from an outsider's perspective.
Or not.
I'm sorry your rollercoaster ride isn't letting up yet. :(
MEN. SUCK. PERIOD.
That's it.
I don't know what to say other than ((hugs)). :)
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