Because I Said So!

It's the middle of back to school month. I say 'month' because we couldn't do it all in one week, right? We have to have a different week for each kid to begin school, so we can drag out the joy.

Last week was Blondie. We took him back down to his boarding school and got him moved in, all pretty tearlessly. Not bad, except he didn't bother communicating with his roommate, and when we got down there, we found both boys had brought microwaves, and both assumed that the other was bringing the bed loft. But what's another 5 hours of driving the next day in a special trip, to take the bed loft down? My kid is worth it, right?

Right. I guess. But I still wouldn't mind if he weren't QUITE so blonde sometimes!

This week is Doober. Who isn't blonde. And doesn't really have blonde moments. But he DOES have stubborn, push-the-limits-right-to-the-edge moments.

So Wednesday we got his hair cut. Thinking I'd be nice, I took him to a salon instead of pulling out my trusty scissors myself. I let him specify how he wanted it done, as long as it met dress code (not below the ear lobes or past the eyebrows or over the collar).

Well, 1 out of 3 is ok, right? No? The school didn't think so either. So next week I will be pulling out my trusty scissors. I'm not paying another $15 just a week later. He may not like it as much this time, but it WILL meet dress code!

And Thursday I drove him to school, a half hour each way, for his one-hour orientation day. I still don't understand why they can't hand out schedules, planners, locker assignments, and take school pictures on the first day of school, but they don't. So I took a couple hours out of my work day to drive him over and wait around for the hour until he was done.

On the way home I noticed he was still clutching the school picture envelope. I may be a bit naive at times, but I know that school picture companies generally don't give away their photos for free. So I'm pretty sure he shouldn't still have had the envelope.

"They wouldn't take my picture," he explained. "I have to get them done on retakes day."

On a normal school day, that little bit of hair that wasn't freshly shaved on his upper lip would have meant a $1 fee to pay for a disposable razor, a trip to the bathroom to remove it, and a detention for breaking dress code. Apparently on school picture day, it just means that you aren't good enough for their cameras.

It's probably a good thing he didn't tell me right away. I might have caused a scene in the school. And I wouldn't want to do that, because I need to stockpile my scene-causing gift for use on Monday.

Yes, Monday. Back-to-school night at the Pumpkin's school. I'm planning it already. I need to be ready. I've been planning it for several months, actually, and I want to be sure I don't wimp out.

Ok, I should probably catch you up, so I'll let you read this little gem from the revised school dress code:

Shoes are to compliment the uniform rather than detract from it. Plain leather dress shoes (low heels only) or athletic shoes in a solid color (no contrasting stitching or contrasting logos) of brown, black, white, or navy blue are acceptable. Bright, gaudy, or distracting colors for the shoe laces are to be avoided. Shoes must have a closed heel and toe. No sandals, clogs, or boots of any style are allowed. Shoes must be kept tied, buckled, or fastened for safety. Shoes with laces must be tied tight with the tied bow showing on the upper tongue area of the shoe. Shoe jewelry is not allowed.

The second sentence is in bold. That is the change from last year to this one. And this other statement regarding the gym clothing dress code is also applicable to my point:

Students are to wear gym shoes and socks. The gym shoes (following the same guidelines as established for athletic shoes in uniform/dress code) must be used only for gym and not worn as street shoes. Please avoid gym shoes with black or dark soles that leave marks on the gym floor.

On Saturday I plan to take the Pumpkin shoe shopping. I will be stopping at the running store where I got her shoes last spring for track. And I will take a picture of the sign they have on their wall.

"You do not buy shoes by color. You buy shoes by fit."
This is my beef.

Sure, being anal about shoe color is a bit extreme, to say the least. I sincerely doubt that the purple plaid button on my daughter's black dress shoes last year kept any other students from learning at their top potential. But it's not impossible to find her a pair of solid-colored black or white or blue or brown dress shoes.

What IS impossible is finding a good quality pair of solid-colored black or white or blue or brown athletic shoes that are made for running. All such shoes have contrasting stitching and logos! I could possibly find her cross-trainers - walking shoes - basketball shoes - but not running shoes. And the kids are expected to do a lot a running in gym class. Our family has had numerous issues related to running and shoes. I will not have her develop shin splits, stress fractures, or other foot problems due to ill-fitting shoes that aren't designed for running. Before I will allow that, I will take her to our doctor and get a written statement that she isn't allowed to participate in gym class due to the shoe requirement.

I'm not sure if I can make a bunch of pea-brained people see reason when they are overly-enjoying exerting their self-perceived authority. But I am not the only parent who is getting tired of nit-picky dress code rules becoming more and more strict every year, with absolutely NO parental involvement in the process, and no explanation of the problems that caused them to need to make said changes.

I am a consensus person. When I set rules, I want them to be followed, and I believe the best way to do that is for everyone to understand why the rules are necessary. I am not one for creating rules just for the sake of rules. And my kids know this, so they generally follow my rules with very little issue. They can understand why the rules are necessary, and they also appreciate that I respect THEM enough to not just say, "Because I said so."

Someone needs to tell the school that "Because I said so" just doesn't cut it.