I'm not Catholic, but my husband is.
So I was sitting in Mass this morning... briefly. Then I was standing. Then sitting again. Oops, time to kneel.
And I got to thinking... I wonder if anyone has done any studies on the effects of Mass aerobics on the general health of devout Catholics. It seems like all of that exercise should make them thinner and more healthy than the general populace... would you agree? Then there's the additional antioxidant benefits of the wine, and the low-carb benefits of the wafer...
Ok maybe I'm stretching a bit, but if you have ever gone to a variety of churches, you have to have noticed the difference. I mean... just look around in another church service. Watch eyes half-closed. Heads nodding. Do you see that in a Catholic Mass? Of COURSE not. There's no time to doze off between the aerobic moves!
Why, exactly, do Catholics need to move more than the rest of us? Is there some added religious benefit that we aren't aware of? Are they trying to keep the old people moving so their joints can't stiffen up as much by the end of the hour? I know how hard it is for ME to stand up & sit down that often... my bad back argues with me at each change of position. Perhaps they are just into torture.
Hey. Perhaps that is it. They do guilt really well. Why not torture? I may be onto something.
Anyway, about the time this light bulb went on, the sermon ended and I ran out of time to think. Time to stand again.
4 comments:
Oh dear God...(no pun intended) I'M Catholic and know all too well the atrocities of the stand, sit, kneel combination at mass. I won't comment further other than to admit that when I was 13 I caught a fit of giggles with my best friend, Johnny, during mass. We had to LEAVE the church. Once outside we stood, silent as statues, wondering what punishment our mothers would heap upon us upon the end of the mass.
Presbyterian: We're not into exercise. We look at the health concerns of our congregation from a dietary point of view. When three or more of us gather, a chicken dies.
Hmmm horsn - a feather is kinky...but the whole damn bird...???!!! yowza!
This is going to sound bad, but it is a brainwashing technique, much like all the stuff they do in the military.
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