Friday, January 06, 2006

Another Visit To Carlos

Notice I said "to" Carlos, not "with" Carlos. ;)

After my recent visit with Carlos, I spent some time obsessing over everything that had happened. The entire event flustered me and even scared me a little bit, and I really didn't know the best way to handle it. I figured there were three options... ignore it and hope he got the hint, tell the store management and let them deal with him, or not go to Sam's Club any more unless someone went with me.

None of the options seemed all that great. I didn't like the ignore it option; Carlos didn't give any indication of being the type who understood a hint. I also didn't like the option of telling the store management because I didn't want to cause problems for him and have him upset... you never know just how upset someone might get. And my husband is a bit paranoid, so I hesitated to tell him all the details because I figured he would see it as worse than it really was.

But eventually I decided that I don't want to let some guy change the way I do things. When I need something at a store, I don't want to have to wait for someone to go along. I gave my husband a few more of the details about the incident with Carlos, and asked him if he'd make a visit to Sam's Club with me just to give the elusive husband that I had mentioned a face. When I told him how Carlos even met me in the parking lot, he agreed that something needed to be done, and he pretty much agreed with my solution to the problem. And I vowed to always wear my wedding ring when I went to Sam's Club in the future (which he thought was probably a good idea)!

So last night he had to run to another store that is in the same strip as Sam's Club, and I asked him if we could go to Sam's and pick up a few things that (in my flustered state on Tuesday) I somehow forgot to get. He had a busy evening, but he reluctantly agreed once I convinced him how logical it was to do it while he was right next door anyway.

We parked in the Sam's Club parking lot and started to walk into the store. He asked me if I was going to "hook him" (for the pervs reading this, that means hook arms, not act like a hooker. Not that acting like a hooker wouldn't have been fun, but I didn't want to give Carlos any more ideas. He had too many already!) I said yes, and that I also was going to hang all over him and maybe even give him a blow job in the store aisles somewhere. (He decided that maybe trips to Sam's Club weren't all that bad after all!) As we walked in, I pointed out Carlos (who was working a checkout lane) to my hubby.

We made our way through the store. I picked up the two items I had come for while he browsed through the book section, then I went back to meet him and we made our way up to the checkouts. There were 3 open checkouts. All 3 had about the same number of people in line, so we got into Carlos' line.

When we reached the checkout, I handed over my card to him. He very obviously avoided looking up at me. He didn't greet me by name, like Sam's cashiers are supposed to do. And he, almost unintelligibly, mumbled his way through the standard "did you find everything today" spiel. He never once looked me in the eye. I think he got the point. We'll see.

But hubby never did get his blow job in the store aisles. Maybe next time.

7 comments:

cadbury_vw said...

i am really happy that carlos has been told

your method was probably even better than any kind of confrontation, no matter how mild

i guess hanging around with university feminists for too long has made me partial to actual lectures on proper conduct

good for you for dealing with this head on

it musn't have been easy for you

i am glad your husband provided support for you

Anonymous said...

Here's a different angle...Just once, I'd love to screw up the courage to do what Carlos must do all the time. A lifetime of rejection makes such behavior nearly impossible for me, but I wonder how often guys like Carlos actually get lucky. If he comes on to, say, 100 women a year, never gets in trouble, and actually gets one in his car, that's a lot more than most guys get. Maybe being a jerk has its rewards.

Zephyr said...

Nope, being a jerk gets you fired or arrested for stalking or a restraining order or some such thing...

Mouthy Girl said...

What in the holy hell? Being a jerk gets you a mouth full of freshly knocked-out teeth. And I'd do that WITHOUT Husband Guy. Anyone who thinks what Carlos did (completely inappropriate, sexually intimidating behavior) is acceptable needs to sit down and have a quickity quick conversation with me.

I'm so glad YOUR husband guy did the deed, Lara. AND a blow job of any sort is definitely in the cards for him.

Edtime Stories said...

I am not sure the Carlos incident is settled yet. You will have to see the next time.

A comment from a man who is a flirt, but never pushy:
1. Yes forward guys in bars are more likely to get results, but in bars there are women looking to meet guys in higher concentration and alcohol helps lower inhibitions. Same behavior in a store is a crime, plain and simple. Knowing how to flirt and not is a good skill, and frankly my take is that confidence not pushiness is what women find exciting.

2. Yes Carlos may be casting a big net, but what is to say that Lara just doesn't bring something out in him. Give Lara her props it is obvious she is attractive and comfortable with herself that is exciting. But that said, just because of that doesn't give Carlos or anyone the right to go past no. Even on here, just because Lara shows her body and mind to the world doesn't mean she still doesn't own it for herself.

I guess I am upset about this because too often the Carlos types of the world force women to hide who they are. Lara I think you did the right thing and I hope he got the message. If not, then I am sure someone would be willing to "talk" him into understanding.

Mouthy Girl said...

Carlos is gainfully employed because Lara chose to take a different route of 'confrontation.' Perhaps if you'd read her post a bit more carefully you would have seen that her husband was concerned about retribution on the part of Carlos had they gone to the management.

As someone who's been stalked and had to involve the police, Carlos' behavior and the implication that this sort of action is merely "sometimes-successful aggression," I will simply say that it's plain wrong. Lara felt uncomfortable to the point leaving the store and involving her husband.

Also, there are two reasons Carlos still has his teeth:
1. The insurance program at Sam's Club.
2. He doesn't work at my Sam's Club.

barman said...

Glad to hear this Lara. I hope it is over. Carlos knows he did wrong. Hopefully, at least for you, he will not try it again. Just the same make sure you keep records so that you can take it to management and the police if need be if the weasel tries anything again. What an ass.