'Just Being' looks like this...

When I first decided that confronting my fears and fixing my future meant I'd be taking this path, I tried to think about what I WANTED out of my life.  And at that time, the only way I could put it was that I wanted to just be. That may not be a very descriptive term to some, but to me it gives a whole variety of peaceful images:

• sitting in the sunlight reading a book without being interrupted and reminded about the work that isn't getting done
• puttering around in a garden, looking at which flowers have sprouted without being asked when I'm going to get it weeded
• walking barefoot in the grass without someone having a fit because my feet are getting dirty
• eating grilled cheese sandwiches for supper because cooking a meal didn't feel like the evening's priority, and no one complaining that it's not healthy

So last night I came home from work.  My daughter is with me this week, but she spent yesterday evening with him to go to karate, so I had a few hours to myself.  I currently can't walk through the living room or dining room... they are so packed full of boxes and stuff, just dumped there when it was moved in.  So I should have gone to work inside, washing off bookshelves and storage shelves, carrying boxes down into the basement and library.  But I didn't.

'Just being' means not always doing what you should be doing.  It was sunny and beautiful... a bit chilly, but the rain has stopped and I wanted to enjoy it.

So I sat out on the driveway, surrounded by pails and dirt, and potted my summer geranium planters.  The dog whimpered nearby, upset at being tied just far enough away that she couldn't happily assist me in my digging.  New neighbors that I haven't yet met drove by and waved hello.

After cleaning up, I went to pick up my daughter.  We stopped by a friend's house who wanted to give us some of her unneeded household items to help me get started, then we made our way home.  I made sloppy joe sandwiches which we ate with leftover cucumber-tomato pasta salad.  At 11 pm. And no one complained.

'Just being' is rather nice.