I dread weekends. I have for a very long time.
It seems like most people like weekends... it's their time to wind down, do fun things, and not have to go to work. But at our house? It's the time when you work nonstop to do all of the things you didn't have time to do all week.
Granted there is SOME free time... I normally take off on a Saturday morning to run errands... do banking, stand in line at the post office, catch up on various shopping tasks that couldn't get done during the week. And I spend at least an hour each weekend day at the dog park.
But during the week, he's at work. Weekends? You don't know when he'll be there and when he won't. And if he's there, you don't know what he will be insistent that HAS to be done. I realize that I can always just say, "No." But it's not the actual work that is the stress... I can work very hard, and I'm not afraid of it. He somehow just exudes stress.
When he is around, everyone is just on edge. Even my mom commented something similar on Monday when I contacted my parents to tell them what was going on. Mom said that she didn't have any nervous problems when it was just me & the kids coming out for a visit, but she'd get all stressed about a visit when she knew he was coming too. Mom commented that with him, everything always has to be 'just so'.
More than ten years ago, I realized how much more relaxed it was at home during the times he'd go away for a week of training. The kids and I would have such a nice week, doing what we wanted to do when we wanted to do it. The important things still got done... they just didn't have to get done on any particular schedule.
As I look forward, I still have difficulty with goals. I don't know what I want my life to look like. I don't really have big hopes or dreams. I don't need to start a business or change the world.
My goals are far simpler: I look forward to being able to just be.
It seems like most people like weekends... it's their time to wind down, do fun things, and not have to go to work. But at our house? It's the time when you work nonstop to do all of the things you didn't have time to do all week.
Granted there is SOME free time... I normally take off on a Saturday morning to run errands... do banking, stand in line at the post office, catch up on various shopping tasks that couldn't get done during the week. And I spend at least an hour each weekend day at the dog park.
But during the week, he's at work. Weekends? You don't know when he'll be there and when he won't. And if he's there, you don't know what he will be insistent that HAS to be done. I realize that I can always just say, "No." But it's not the actual work that is the stress... I can work very hard, and I'm not afraid of it. He somehow just exudes stress.
When he is around, everyone is just on edge. Even my mom commented something similar on Monday when I contacted my parents to tell them what was going on. Mom said that she didn't have any nervous problems when it was just me & the kids coming out for a visit, but she'd get all stressed about a visit when she knew he was coming too. Mom commented that with him, everything always has to be 'just so'.
More than ten years ago, I realized how much more relaxed it was at home during the times he'd go away for a week of training. The kids and I would have such a nice week, doing what we wanted to do when we wanted to do it. The important things still got done... they just didn't have to get done on any particular schedule.
As I look forward, I still have difficulty with goals. I don't know what I want my life to look like. I don't really have big hopes or dreams. I don't need to start a business or change the world.
My goals are far simpler: I look forward to being able to just be.
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